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Bicycles, Drugs and Murder…

Posted by Janus on September 8, 2006

Here’s a little taste of insanity. Enjoy!

Bicycles, Drugs and Murder…

I wandered aimlessly around the square for no apparent reason; I found my thoughts were clouded by the drugs, which had been introduced into my body by the thieves who had stolen my bicycle. The very bicycle I was riding on my way to the river the commit suicide with a pair of bricks and some rope, which I had myself stolen from the baker who had murdered my wife while I was away at a tea festival in London. Needless to say I wasn’t very happy about my wife’s early death so I Shot him with a gun I had stolen from the local hunting club to which I was a member, two shots from this shotgun which is normally used to shot pigeons off the roof of the local church had killed him stone dead; he fell onto the table where he had been preparing bread.

I was still wandering around when suddenly I was struck from behind by the bakers wife who had no doubt branded me a criminal with no heart but one made out of lead, indeed at this time that lead heart was sinking to the bottom of a very deep well. She had clobbered me over the head with a piece of stale bread which she had baked four weeks ago and then left in her car to go stale so she could bludgeon her husband to death in order to collect the insurance. Upon finding her husband Murdered she lost control of herself, she had so much wished to be the one to kill him that all reason had been driven from her like a Christian in Tehran.

The stale bread had indeed done the job, I fell to the ground feeling a sense of euphoria which had resulted from the clobbering and the drugs which had been introduced into my body by the thieves who had stolen my bicycle and who now were standing in the street laughing at me. I am now dead, and have been thinking about these bizarre event which had lead to my demise, my wife’ death, the baker’s death and the imprisonment of four people; one for murder and three others for the theft of a bicycle.

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